Against The Odds Read online

  Rebecca said nothing and he dropped the subject. Interesting, he thought.

  At his office, he gave her a hug and she went to her car. She went back to her office, unable to shake the unease that had enveloped her since she had looked into those blue eyes.

  ~ ~ ~ ~

  Clayton was furious with Jonathan. What is he doing having long lunches with beautiful women? Who is she anyway? He looked at his watch. It was now three in the afternoon and he was not back yet? Where is he? He looked out at the parking lot and saw them. Jonathan was hugging her and she was laughing. How dare he flaunt this woman? Has he gone mad? No, maybe I have gone mad. He realized how his jealousy was getting the better of him. He realized that he wanted her to be hugging him instead and wanted her laughing at something he had said. Those black eyes haunted him, the way they had stared at him in fascination and fear, the way they had locked him into a space he could not recognize or define. He felt like he knew her, but when she had shaken his hand, there was no familiarity there. Her hand had been warm and soft, as if needing his protection. This is ridiculous, he thought. She was just one more woman who wanted to be entertained by men. She had been very bossy with Jonathan, with her ‘I have many things to do’ attitude. He liked her husky voice, though. Clearly, she has been busy with Jonathan. Jonathan hardly ever went out to lunch, hating business lunches. He always preferred to have a sandwich with Jackie who came over regularly and chatted to him. Her decorating business was just around the corner and she often came over to their office to have lunch with her husband. Where is Jackie today, anyhow?

  He went over to Jonathan’s office and found him on the phone. He was talking to Jackie and heard him say, “I only got back a few minutes ago. She said to say hello and good luck with the Fischmer project.”

  Okay, so she is not his lover. He felt so relieved by this information that he surprised himself with this revelation. Jonathan noticed him and motioned him to come in.

  “Yes, interesting thing happened. She met Clayton. Believe it or not, he was charming. Can you figure that?”

  His eyes were laughing at Clayton and he roared with laughter at something his wife said. “I did ask her what she thinks of him. Very interesting.”

  He was enjoying Clayton’s discomfort and smiled at him. “Say hello to Jackie,” and handed over the phone to him.

  He walked over to the window and watched Clayton. He seemed a bit tense. He was usually relaxed and comfortable, but today he seemed like he had a wasp buzzing in his head.

  Clayton eventually put down the phone.

  “Your wife says you are cooking tonight.”

  “Yeah, I know. She is very busy these days, so I will be cooking every day for the next two weeks. Bummer. Clayton, you look uptight, everything alright?”

  “Yes, of course. I am just a little tired I guess.”

  “Come over for supper on Wednesday to relax. Rebecca will be there. She loves my cooking.”

  “Who?”

  “Rebecca, you know, the woman you met earlier?”

  “Oh, the princess. Let me see if I am available. Who is she, Jono?”

  “Dear boy, you can ask her that yourself on Wednesday.”

  “Is she an ex-lover of yours?”

  “No. She worked with me on a number of cases. I am surprised you never met her. She is good friends with your drinking buddy, Brad Adcock. He loves her to bits. She is a bright woman with a heart of gold. Sexy too, don’t you think?”

  “No, I didn’t notice. We were only there for a few seconds before you arrived. Brad never mentioned her. They are lovers?”

  “I doubt it. I know he relies on her a lot for her opinion in some cases, and he is very protective over her. I don’t know if there is something else.”

  Jonathan smiled when Clayton left. He did not notice that she was sexy? That was the weakest lie he had ever heard Clayton speak. He also noticed how his jaw clenched when he asked about her relationship with Brad. He went back to work and soon forgot about the interesting encounter between his dearest friends.

  ~ ~ ~ ~

  Clayton had not forgotten the woman. Hours later, he was haunted by the dark eyes. He remembered clearly how he had known that she was there, before he had turned. He had felt her presence and smelt the slight hint of jasmine blowing towards him. He had known that there was a woman on the terrace, but had been shocked by his reaction when he had seen her. She was standing there, as if ready to flee, a short black skirt barely touching her knees. She had great legs and her long black hair had swayed gently towards him as if beckoning him to her. Her eyes had looked straight at him and warmed him all over. She did not smile at him and he remembered how desperately he wished she would smile.

  ~ ~ ~ ~

  Rebecca had also not forgotten the bold, blue eyes that had teased her, taunting her to combat and the strong hand that had sent shivers down her spine. She tried to dismiss these thoughts. After all, he was a good looking man. In any event, it was no use. There was nothing she could do about it. Even if he was interested, he would soon turn away, like the rest. She knew what she had to do. She had to wait patiently for the Protector. He would come soon and clear away the force that prevented her from finding love. There was no point in lusting after this man. It would be a total waste of time and the pain would be unbearable.

  The night was quiet and Rebecca felt despair. She heard it, getting louder, the hissing, insistent sound, its wings flapping slowly in rhythm. The Darkness was back again. She heard a noise at her window and knew it was watching her. There was nothing for her to do but to light her white candles. She burnt the sandalwood incense and shouted.

  “Away with you Darkness, there is nothing for you here!”

  She chanted these words and felt its force getting weaker, until it was a faint whisper.

  Why has it come tonight? It only came to her when she was with a man or when she was in love with a man. It had no reason to be threatened. Why now? She pondered this question as she fell asleep. She woke up tired the next day, exhausted from the energy of banishing The Darkness. She hoped it would not plague her this week when she was so busy.

  *****

  Chapter 3

  On Wednesday she dressed carefully for dinner at Jonathan’s house. She changed so many times that she could no longer decide whether she looked good or not. She eventually settled for her jeans and a t-shirt.

  Jonathan and Jackie were chatty and friendly, but Clayton said very little. He seemed an elusive man and she spent a great deal of the evening avoiding his blue eyes. Eventually, Jonathan asked her to turn on the music. She went over to the hi-fi, crouched on the floor and put in a CD. Her t-shirt moved up her back and a butterfly tattoo at the bottom of her back was visible. She got up and smiled.

  “There, some sophisticated music for you unrefined sods!”

  Jackie was laughing. Jonathan smiled, but Clayton did not smile. His face was white, frozen in shock. He just sat there, staring into space.

  “Clayton, are you okay? I told you he was acting strange this week.” Jonathan looked worried.

  “I’m fine, thanks. I was just distracted for a moment.”

  When it was time to go home, Clayton arose with her and left with her. Outside, he stared at her.

  “Who are you, really? Why have you come into my life? What do you want?”

  She stared back at him, hurt and stunned by his attack on her.

  “I don’t want anything from you, you arrogant swine. Who do you think you are? Get a life!”

  “Don’t lie to me. Why do you have that butterfly tattoo? Why?”

  She looked at him astounded. It had been the symbol that had protected her from harm for so many years. She had forgotten about it and was amazed that he seemed to recognize it. Was he part of The Darkness? Is that why, after she had met him, it had come to her, in the depths of the night? Is that why she had been captivated by his blue eyes? Why her hand had itched long after he had held it? She stared at him and knew she needed to
get away. She walked quickly to her car, not daring to look back. Who is he?

  Rebecca went home, determined to clear her chakras and speak to Nana. Nana had been dead for some five years now and she missed her grandmother so much. Today, she needed her, wanting her wisdom and comfort. She had so many questions to ask. Rebecca disconnected her phones that night and sat at her altar to meditate. She could feel the tension leaving her body and she began to relax. She lit some frankincense and white candles, and called to her Nana:

  Nana, Nana, it is I, Rebecca who speaks

  It is your wisdom I seek

  Where in my world and sector

  Is The Protector?

  Who might he be?

  So I can bring him unto me?

  Nana, Nana, Rebecca seeks your help free

  So mote it be

  She shut her eyes for a while and then went to bed. Nana always came to her in her dreams and she hoped tonight would not be different. Later, while deep in her sleep, her Nana came. She felt the strong wave of warmth that filled the room and saw her. She looked so beautiful, floating gently in the wind, her red hair so short and crisp. Where is this place, Nana? She could see many tall buildings, but none were familiar to her. She saw a harbor close by with ships moving gently to shore. Nana turned suddenly and behind her emerged a white tiger. Nana was not afraid. She smiled, as if inviting it. The tiger moved slowly, carefully, untroubled by the buildings around it. It moved in circles around and she realized that she was in the center of its circle and focus. It did nothing but pace around her.

  Then Nana spoke, her voice soft and musical.

  He holds the power in the palm of his hand. Do not be afraid my child. He is here. He will protect you.

  The images faded and Rebecca realized that she had been awoken by the hissing of The Darkness. It had come to disturb her dream. It dawned on her that it knew that the Protector was close. For one thing, she recognized the Rosen Bay harbor, which was about three miles from her home. So it was clear to Rebecca that the Protector was in her city. The Darkness seemed to appear more powerful these days, its hissing fast, furious and booming. It tapped on her window again and she chanted her banishment words to it. It took a long time before it finally left.

  Rebecca was confused by her Nana’s images. What is a white tiger? What does it mean? She knew that Nana had always applied feng shui in her living and it meant something. She knew that the white tiger sometimes symbolised unexpected events. Is this the case here? It is also a cat. What do cats mean in dreams? The home, responsibility or sex? Rebecca played the dream over and over in her head, but was no closer to the truth. Her mind wandered to Clayton and his accusations about her butterfly. There was too much confusion for her now and her mind drifted back and forth with conflicting and confusing images. She slept with a strong feeling of despair and hopelessness. She was twenty-nine years old and was still looking for her Protector, still battling with The Darkness and still confused and frightened by the animal images. Where was he, her Protector?

  *****

  Chapter 4

  Clayton was horrified by his outburst after dinner. He wanted to go to her and talk to her, but she was clearly afraid of him now. Her eyes had been flashing at him in anger and fear. He tried to phone her a few times, but she refused to take his calls. He had even tried to phone her at about seven that morning, hoping she would be there. What had made me say those things? Perhaps it was the shock of seeing the butterfly again. It had jolted him back to the life he had worked so hard to forget.

  Clayton had married his best friend’s sister, Suzanne Bridges three years after he graduated from Law School. He was just twenty-five years old, eager to take on the world. Suzanne with her bright smile and spiky, blond hair had intrigued him for so long. She had taunted and tormented him with her flirtation and he had been grateful when she had eventually agreed to date him. He loved her wild and dramatic poetry and had learnt a long while ago not to ask ‘what is it about, exactly?’ She had been cute, funny and playful. Her brother Barry was his roommate and had not been happy about them dating and later marrying. He often told Clayton that they were too different, that he knew both of them well enough to know that they could not fulfil each other’s needs. But neither Clayton nor Suzanne paid any attention. They were drunk with the arrogance and power of their youth. She loved his quiet, sober ways and his dark and determined passion to protect the innocent. She loved his inflexible values and principles and found them comforting in her intangible, ever-changing world of poetry.

  Clayton, determined to save the world, had joined a firm of attorneys which dealt with many indigent clients wanting to enforce their constitutional rights. He loved the work and was greatly fulfilled each time he beat the government or some large corporation. He was driven by this passion and could not appreciate Suzanne’s concerns about their financial security. Her poetic exploits brought in very little money and as the years past, she wanted the full suburban lifestyle that her brother, a corporate lawyer in their father’s firm, enjoyed. She often felt ashamed and fearful when they met at Barry’s house, with its massive garden, swimming pool and gazebo. She would not accept that Clayton had no desire for such things and felt like a very wealthy man in his work. She learnt to hate their two-bedroomed apartment, with its tiny balcony and noisy streets. She hated not having her own car and most importantly, she learnt to hate Clayton’s inarticulate clients who did not have the civil decency to phone during office hours. They were growing apart and things did not improve on Clayton’s thirtieth birthday.

  ~ ~ ~ ~

  Suzanne had organised a party at an expensive restaurant in Bateman Road and had invited her family. Her mother fussed over her the whole night and Clayton felt slightly irritated by the party and his mother-in-law’s fussing. His mood had not improved when his father-in law had followed him to the bathroom.

  “Clayton, my boy, we need to talk about your future. Suzanne needs you more now and I think it would be wise if we talk ‘man-to-man’ so to speak. Are you available for lunch tomorrow?”

  Despite his better judgement, Clayton replied.

  “I can’t see that there is much to discuss, but I will be happy to meet you tomorrow.”

  He had left the bathroom feeling weak and silly, knowing he should have said, ‘no, I am not available. I don’t want to work for you.’ But he did not have the courage or energy to fight the old man once again.

  On the way home, Suzanne was particularly happy and chatted about everything. At home, she said, “welcome to our poky home. Happy birthday, my love. I have a wonderful surprise for you.”

  Clayton had smiled, thinking about all the ridiculous presents she had bought him over the years, art by a ‘soon to be famous’ painter or sculptor, boxing gloves to help him cope with stress, bright, cartoon shorts he would never wear, and the like. He was not enthusiastic about this present, given her history on the subject. And he was right.

  “Clayton, I am so excited. We’re pregnant!”

  She was beaming and jumping around as she told him this and he simply stared at her in stunned silence. Clayton was not happy. They had discussed the issue of children before they were married and had agreed that they would not have children. They have never discussed it again once they were married.

  “At least now we can move out this place and get a real home. I spoke to my father and he is willing to take you into his firm. Isn’t this wonderful? Clayton? Are you okay?”

  Clayton said nothing. He glared at her and then left the apartment. He needed to think. All this was too much. He went over to Jonathan’s house. Jackie was there alone and they talked for a long time. It was difficult for Jackie to be sympathetic, as she had tried to fall pregnant for years. She tried to understand Clayton’s anger, but could not.

  Clayton went back to the apartment, feeling betrayed and alone. He had never wanted children. His own parents had been cold and hostile to each other and to him, and he saw no joy or reason to bring another child into
the world. He was trapped, because he knew that Suzanne would insist that they move and ‘give the baby the best’. This translated to him leaving his work to do corporate or criminal work. Suzanne was waiting for him and they had an argument again. It was the same argument, that he was not adequately providing for her, that their lives could be better. He felt tired and bored. What was the point? He was stuck with this now. He agreed to all her demands.

  After meeting her father, it was agreed that he would join the firm in six months’ time, by which time Suzanne would be eight months’ pregnant. They had clearly mapped out his life and he had submitted. Clayton felt dead inside, but Suzanne seemed oblivious to this. She continued her art and her body started growing beautifully. Clayton savoured his last months at work and vigorously pursued all his cases. He worked day and night, because he could not bear to leave his clients, or to go home to Suzanne.

  One night, it was eleven in the evening when he heard his office phone ringing. He ignored it, because he knew none of his clients knew he was there. It had to be Suzanne. He switched off his cell phone, knowing she would phone him on that number. Tired but satisfied, he went home at about two in the morning. Suzanne was not there. There was no note from her and he panicked. Had something happened to her? He went to the phone and saw that there were a number of messages. His heart stopped when he heard Barry’s desperate voice.

  “Please, Clayton, Suzanne had an accident. Call me as soon as you get in.”

  She was in hospital, her head in bandages and her face badly swollen. When she saw Clayton, she cried. “I lost our baby, Clayton. I lost our baby.”